Man “for growth”: why do not re -educate a partner

You have long been in the search, but have not yet found a worthy person? And in women’s groups on social networks there are as many tips as “remodeling” almost any man, as if it were plasticine. Where will such a strategy lead? Olga Dmitrieva, a female life-bonfire, helps to understand a difficult topic of relationships.

A large number of books and articles have already been written about the search for your ideal, only and unique man. But even if a woman reads all the information on the topic, this does not guarantee success. That is why thoughts arise like: “We need to reconsider the criteria for choosing and slightly reduce the bar” or “We must find the one I can change for myself”.

But both are the path not to a happy relationship, but rather to a strategic game, the purpose of which is to get a man. Let’s study this issue more closely and try to figure out why women consider candidates “outgrowth”, how are the roles in such relationships are distributed and for what reason such a strategy is not very successful.

Why women choose this approach

The man “for growth” is a compromise with himself. The vast majority of girls grow and form their idea of an ideal man who will be a reliable support, support, a real prince and a knight on a white horse. And it is unlikely that the girl thinks in advance about finding a man for re -education.

They come to this most often due to disappointment in previous relationships, because of the loss of faith that “normal men have not yet been transferred and there are unmarried among them”. People are burned, mistaken and disappointed in some relations, in others, and over time, they form a distrust in them.

Further, a woman can either be completely closed, or despair and generally put an end to all men, or look for a compromise and agree to “generally good”, but far from the ideal option. Then the idea arises to find a man (possibly younger), who has not yet filled the “cones” and will be ready to change.

Women are trying to “bring to mind” an unsuspecting partner. And at the same time he builds relations with his beloved, and he did not give himself to her adoption.

Role distribution

The very idea that one adult will be able to re -educate and adjust to another adult and get harmonious relations in the root.

Starting to communicate with a partner from this position, you obviously look at him from top to bottom, realizing your superiority. A man feels that he treats him as a non -cortop, let him and give hopes. Even praise from women who have chosen this line of behavior for themselves sound in a tone of the head teacher, as if they were encouraging a first -grader.

What do you think, many men would agree to linger in such a role? Each of you is an adult personality, and you need to respect and appreciate the positive qualities in each other, which were originally falling like.

When a woman tries to “redo” a partner, she becomes a strong position, takes on the role of a mother for a bald “baby”. But she herself feels uncomfortable, dominating in a relationship.

She can allow the thought: “Now I will bring up a real man, and then I will give him the reins of government and I will enjoy”. But no, it does not happen that you will take and grow the king, and then stand up the step below. This is unnatural, it is also destroyed by sexual relations.

Practice shows: either these roles of the teacher and subordinate are fixed for you forever, or you really “grow up” a worthy man who will no longer want and will not be able to remain in such a role -playing game and simply finds another, for which he is good and does not need to alteration.

People change with each other

Your high significance for a man is a wonderful motivator. A person may change, but he does it himself, making such a decision. For example, because he is so comfortable to live, he is more interesting for himself and others, he is not ashamed of his actions, he enjoys his achievements and admiration for his beloved woman.

This is much more inspiring than criticisms.

How to understand what a man should be with you

In fact, only you can understand and feel. But you need to remember a few axiomas.

  1. This is attracted to such. And if you are in the decadent state of mind, put yourself the framework of “impossible

    then and this”, then with a high degree of probability a similar “wounded” person will be attracted to you.

  2. Partners in relations should complement each other, and not close the “holes”. For example, look for a rich man, because the most financial difficulties are not the best option. In order for the relationship to be harmonious, they must be built from a state of inner harmony and fullness, and not because of the acute need and their own failure.
  3. Be honest with yourself. Do not try to turn a blind eye to obvious inconsistencies and, worst, replace them with illusions. Girls are very fond of building relationships with an in an invented way, because the original “does not reach perfection” a little. This is a slippery path. Disappointed and fall into reality then it is very painful.

All the qualities that are unpleasant to you in the new partner from the very first days, then they can cause parting. Therefore, trust yourself and disagree with the relationship with a man who immediately wants to “finalize”.

And most importantly – relations are always based on the ability to agree and distribute roles. Harmonious couples are not created on the desire to break and block the partner for themselves.